Killing another person is wrong.
Most people believe that killing another person is wrong. However, under some circumstances people agree that it's "Less wrong." In "Say You're One of Them," Monique's father kills Maman in order to save his children. Monique’s father had a choice of killing his wife or die with his family. The time of that event would be less wrong because, he saved his 2 children’s including himself but, killing a person is wrong in general because, no one should have the right to kill another person. He was forced to kill whether it right or wrong, it was the best option. The situation he was in, were promises and survival thoughts.
His ethnic groups that
want to dominate other groups surround Monique’s father as he was forced to
kill his beloved wife. The time that this event took place were a time of
domination for power and control. Different kinds of race stay with their
people and fight together to get rids of different groups that is blamed for the problems, it was a moment in
time that killing mean control. although his action were a choice of choosing sides
since his wife background were different then his but, he loves his family very much. In some cases it may seen
awful but, it is reality, anything could happen.
Paragraph 1 --
ReplyDeleteTOPIC SENTENCE: .8 point
.8 (B) = The topic sentence restates the question and makes the writer's position clear. It engages the reader.
SUPPORTING DETAILS: 1.4 points
1.4 (C) The examples and details provided are from the reading or from real life. There is sufficient support to show, explain or prove the writer's position.
ORGANIZATION & UNITY: .5 point
.5(D) = The paragraph may occassionally wander off topic. The writer may repeat ideas unnecessarily. The paragraph is not organized in a logical, efficient manner. The paragraph's organization needs extensive revision.
CONCLUSION: .75 point
75 (C) = The conclusion recaps the topic sentence and summarizes the evidence, without repeating it word-for-word. The reader understands the purpose of the paragraph and can answer the "so what?" question.
TOTAL = Add the scores from each section together.
Paragraph 2 --
TOPIC SENTENCE: .5 point
.5(D) = The topic sentence does not indicate which question the writer is answering. The writer's opinion is unclear.
SUPPORTING DETAILS: 1.4 points
1.4 (C) The examples and details provided are from the reading or from real life. There is sufficient support to show, explain or prove the writer's position.
ORGANIZATION & UNITY: 1 point
1(A) = The paragraph sticks to the topic. The writer avoids repetition or redundancy. The paragraph is organized in a logical, efficient manner.
CONCLUSION: 0 point
0(F) = There is no conclusion
TOTAL =
The best part about these paragraph is she gave her point of view.
These paragraph could be improved if the writer could give more examples from the reading or more structured.